No Guts….No Glory!

My wife and I have been together over 12 years and in November of 2012 I was the heaviest I have ever been, and the heaviest I ever would be. Lets talk about scales and fat people before I reveal my highest weight. Most typical scales go to 350 and some even go to 400. So people my size can’t just say “hey I’m going to weigh today.” I have to find a scale that will weigh me and that’s not as easy as it sounds. Well at some point that month I found one. The addict inside me didn’t want to know and didn’t care. There was another side of me that was fed up and glad I finally saw the devastating number. **Note that I keep putting off telling you the number** So I step on the scale and I see 485lbs. My heart sinks and my mind races. My mortality is realized. The thought of leaving my wife and children without a husband, a father, or a provider almost brought me to my knees. So I start a diet and start losing weight right? Wrong! The twisted addict inside me says “Screw it! Lets eat, you’ll feel better.” so that’s what I do. Shortly after, I come across a new diet drink that promised to help you lose weight and be healthier without diet or exercise. The fat guy inside me gets excited. Lose weight, eat what I want, and no exercise. Sign me up! So I take the magic drink religiously for several months, and I actually start shedding the pounds all the way down to 445lbs. All of a sudden one day the magic drink doesn’t work anymore, and the $200 a month I’m spending isn’t worth it. So I stop, and immediately go back to my old addictive ways and I can feel the pounds slowly start to return. Believe it or not, but to weigh over 400lbs you have to be in decent shape and strong as an ox to still be mobile. Even the easiest of tasks take all the energy you have, and leaves you with nothing left to give to others. My weight had controlled me long enough and it was all starting to fall into place from my depression, to the control it had on my marriage, and to the everyday anger that I exhibited towards others. A change had to take place one way or another.

Let’s back track for a minute. Ever since I was in nursing school I knew I wanted to be an ER nurse at LSU medical center. LSU is a level 1 trauma center that sees all the blood and guts you can handle. An adrenaline junkies dream job! I put my mind to it and shortly after graduation I got my job. The staff at LSU became my extended family and I am proud to say that I love each and every one of them like a brother and sister. Somewhere at the end of 2012 or beginning of 2013 it became clear our state hospital was going to be privatized. Meaning we would be laid off and our years of service and retirement would be no more. So I began actively searching for employment at the VA Medical Center. The day I accepted the position at the VA I knew that I had also made a commitment to make other life changes. I was going to lose my weight and it was going to stay off for good. In case you didn’t know the VA has great benefits, and better yet they have GREAT health insurance. It was Tuesday August 27th, 2013 when I made my life changing decision, and I haven’t looked back yet.

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3 thoughts on “No Guts….No Glory!

  1. This journey isn’t an easy one . It took me 14 years to get off my butt and do something . Kudos to you for taking the first step ! Take it day by day . I tell myself ” just keep swimming ” and that is just what I do , I stay afloat , a little progress at a time . Keep it up and good luck !

  2. Pingback: 28 Hours | Diary of a Fat Man

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